Photo Credit: Weidong Yang
Exactly ten years ago, July 2006, I left San Francisco in pursuit of a dream, in NYC. I pretty much got rid of all that I owned, donating over 1000 books to the SF public library, donating most of my clothes and things to the Salvation Army, and putting the rest in storage. Then, I set off for NYC, and a sublet I had found in the East Village on craigslist, to live my dream.
I am a yoga teacher now, so you may be thinking it was my dream to become a yoga teacher. But, at the time, it was not. It was my dream to study dance in what I considered to be, the dance capital of the world. I had been dancing since I was 2 years old, and it was a true love of my life. In SF, I had pretty much been dancing every day at Rhythm & Motion on Mission St. before it became a part of ODC. I also was taking hours upon hours of theater classes at A.C.T., as theater was another great love, second to dance. I thought I would do both in NYC.
At one point before I had made the decision, I remembered thinking I was too old. Then I realized, that when I am on my dying deathbed, then maybe I will be too old, but until then, that is never going to be an excuse not to follow my dreams, my path, my soul.
So I moved to NYC. It was one of the best and hardest things I have ever done, and I can tell you countless true NY stories that happened, that you think are only stories, but yes, they actually happen in real life. It is an extraordinary place, and somehow, I found myself in the heart of it all, living my dream. I threw myself whole-heartedly into dance classes at Steps on Broadway and other studios, every day. I took acting classes at T. Schreiber studios, and I waited tables to support this. It was an incredible time of having a dream realized.
And then, the reality of the dream started to dawn on me and I saw that my dream, was not necessarily my dharma. I say dharma now, although I did not know this word then, and it was because deeper down than my dream, was a calling. Studying dance, was merely a steppingstone to the dharma. And quite a big one… one that took up a good part of my life, but alas, unknown to me, still a steppingstone.
It was when I was going to yoga practice every day, (as I was finding it was friendlier on my body and fulfilling a part of my soul that needed filling), and watching the teacher walk around and lead the class, that literally the dharma call descended into my head.
I had this thought exactly, “I think I can do that.”
In no way at the time did I know that I could do that, but the idea was planted.
I had come to a point where I realized that dancing professionally was not really a realistic, sustainable option. What was I going to do? I had degrees in history and spanish and MA work done towards an advanced degree in Spanish. My heart was not in teaching spanish however. I felt completely at rock bottom in terms of, is my life going to be a complete waste with no contribution whatsoever? Are my gifts and talents going to be used for anything worthwhile? Making a contribution to the well-being of others, to society was important to me, and I truly felt like I was failing there.
So, it was in this place, that this idea dawned. “I think I can do that.”
That was enough. It was the deep voice of intuition talking.
“I think I can do that."
So, I signed up for a teacher training. There were some bumps and heartbreak along the way, including a gigantic one that got me to move back to San Francisco, but deep down in my heart, I knew that’s where I belonged. Although I had built a community and more for the years I was in NYC, my heart knew I would be happier in SF. So, I returned. And happier immediately I was, even in the midst of healing the heartbreak. In fact, that is probably why I was called back. SF is so good for the heart. It is my heart-home.
As soon as I got back, literally 3 days later in July 2010, I started my first teacher training at Yoga to the People, and literally, the day after my graduation, in September 2010, I started teaching at Academy of Art University, a perfect teaching job that basically fell into my lap. The next week I started teaching at Yoga to the People. In January of 2011, I met Sally Kempton, who helped me to heal my heartbreak, and included my story in her book, Awakening Shakti. I am the girl, in the chapter of Radha, in "the wounds of love". Around that same time, someone told me I should check out Rusty Wells, that I had a similar heart in my teaching, and lo and behold, I was introduced to Bhakti yoga. I was blessed to do almost 600 hours of teacher training with Rusty. I met dear and beloved musician and yoga teacher Wah!, who has become a guiding light as a teacher, friend, and mentor. I am honored to be a model in her beautiful book on sound healing, "healing: a vibrational exchange." Stephanie Snyder came into my life and I had the blessing to do a teacher training with her. My teaching schedule and opportunities continued to grow, and grow, and grow. I continued to study and learn, and say yes.
Fast forward to now, July 2016, and it feels like the blink of an eye from “I think I can do that.” to “I am doing that”, full-time, heading into year seven, this September. In that blink of an eye though there has been countless hours of practice, of teaching, of navigating a new world of yoga for me, of finding my place. I am incredibly honored now that most of my public classes are offered at Yoga Tree, that I teach at a lovely independent yoga studio in North Beach, GLOW Yoga & Wellness, and I continue to teach my corporate classes that I have for years at Tishman Speyer, Ubisoft, and Craigslist, and that I get to lead international yoga retreats to Xinalani, Mexico. Recently I was asked if I would teach yoga for a student’s wedding, for her and her guests. Of course I said yes. Students ask me if I will lead a teacher training. Yes. Probably. One day, if I am so blessed.
People often ask, how do you teach so much? My only answer is I teach from my heart. I think it is the "why" that is more important. From my heart is boundless energy and love. From my heart comes wanting to share what has so much changed and enriched and healed, my life. In my A.C.T. Alexander Technique class back in 2005, before I had left for NYC, the teacher asked us to write down a metaphor for ourselves. We had to think of something to describe us. I wrote “Sky without a boundary”. I’m not kidding. I had no idea yoga was going to come back into my life like it did, or that I was going to be a teacher. But my intuition, something deep down that day spoke and told the future. I am “sky without a boundary”. Truthfully we are all “sky without a boundary”. Unlimited, vast, and filled with potential.
So, why have I written this?
Well, I hope in some small way my writing inspires you.
It's the ten year anniversary of when I left my pretty comfortable-but-missing-something-life in SF to dive into the uncomfortable-I-don’t-know-anything-life in NYC. It’s the ten year anniversary of when I truly listened to my soul’s calling to follow my dreams. I had been wanting to move to NYC for years. I finally did, and what I learned, is that sometimes you have to follow your dreams, to find your dharma.
I feel extremely blessed that I had the courage to do so. I knew there was no other way to live a truth-based life. If I betrayed myself, by not listening to what was calling, I would not have lived, or be living now, my authentic life. So, as one my favorite zen sayings has inspired me, “Leap, and the net will appear”. Or, as my experience in NYC, was, as Kurt Vonnegut wrote, “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
Ten years later, I feel so blessed to be living my dream dharma life in San Francisco and beyond, that I didn’t know I had… this humble yogini life... but in a way I feel I also have been preparing for it all my life. I am truly listening every day, to the call of my soul.
My question for you is, are you?
And if so, do you have the courage to listen, and follow it?
I am a yoga teacher now, so you may be thinking it was my dream to become a yoga teacher. But, at the time, it was not. It was my dream to study dance in what I considered to be, the dance capital of the world. I had been dancing since I was 2 years old, and it was a true love of my life. In SF, I had pretty much been dancing every day at Rhythm & Motion on Mission St. before it became a part of ODC. I also was taking hours upon hours of theater classes at A.C.T., as theater was another great love, second to dance. I thought I would do both in NYC.
At one point before I had made the decision, I remembered thinking I was too old. Then I realized, that when I am on my dying deathbed, then maybe I will be too old, but until then, that is never going to be an excuse not to follow my dreams, my path, my soul.
So I moved to NYC. It was one of the best and hardest things I have ever done, and I can tell you countless true NY stories that happened, that you think are only stories, but yes, they actually happen in real life. It is an extraordinary place, and somehow, I found myself in the heart of it all, living my dream. I threw myself whole-heartedly into dance classes at Steps on Broadway and other studios, every day. I took acting classes at T. Schreiber studios, and I waited tables to support this. It was an incredible time of having a dream realized.
And then, the reality of the dream started to dawn on me and I saw that my dream, was not necessarily my dharma. I say dharma now, although I did not know this word then, and it was because deeper down than my dream, was a calling. Studying dance, was merely a steppingstone to the dharma. And quite a big one… one that took up a good part of my life, but alas, unknown to me, still a steppingstone.
It was when I was going to yoga practice every day, (as I was finding it was friendlier on my body and fulfilling a part of my soul that needed filling), and watching the teacher walk around and lead the class, that literally the dharma call descended into my head.
I had this thought exactly, “I think I can do that.”
In no way at the time did I know that I could do that, but the idea was planted.
I had come to a point where I realized that dancing professionally was not really a realistic, sustainable option. What was I going to do? I had degrees in history and spanish and MA work done towards an advanced degree in Spanish. My heart was not in teaching spanish however. I felt completely at rock bottom in terms of, is my life going to be a complete waste with no contribution whatsoever? Are my gifts and talents going to be used for anything worthwhile? Making a contribution to the well-being of others, to society was important to me, and I truly felt like I was failing there.
So, it was in this place, that this idea dawned. “I think I can do that.”
That was enough. It was the deep voice of intuition talking.
“I think I can do that."
So, I signed up for a teacher training. There were some bumps and heartbreak along the way, including a gigantic one that got me to move back to San Francisco, but deep down in my heart, I knew that’s where I belonged. Although I had built a community and more for the years I was in NYC, my heart knew I would be happier in SF. So, I returned. And happier immediately I was, even in the midst of healing the heartbreak. In fact, that is probably why I was called back. SF is so good for the heart. It is my heart-home.
As soon as I got back, literally 3 days later in July 2010, I started my first teacher training at Yoga to the People, and literally, the day after my graduation, in September 2010, I started teaching at Academy of Art University, a perfect teaching job that basically fell into my lap. The next week I started teaching at Yoga to the People. In January of 2011, I met Sally Kempton, who helped me to heal my heartbreak, and included my story in her book, Awakening Shakti. I am the girl, in the chapter of Radha, in "the wounds of love". Around that same time, someone told me I should check out Rusty Wells, that I had a similar heart in my teaching, and lo and behold, I was introduced to Bhakti yoga. I was blessed to do almost 600 hours of teacher training with Rusty. I met dear and beloved musician and yoga teacher Wah!, who has become a guiding light as a teacher, friend, and mentor. I am honored to be a model in her beautiful book on sound healing, "healing: a vibrational exchange." Stephanie Snyder came into my life and I had the blessing to do a teacher training with her. My teaching schedule and opportunities continued to grow, and grow, and grow. I continued to study and learn, and say yes.
Fast forward to now, July 2016, and it feels like the blink of an eye from “I think I can do that.” to “I am doing that”, full-time, heading into year seven, this September. In that blink of an eye though there has been countless hours of practice, of teaching, of navigating a new world of yoga for me, of finding my place. I am incredibly honored now that most of my public classes are offered at Yoga Tree, that I teach at a lovely independent yoga studio in North Beach, GLOW Yoga & Wellness, and I continue to teach my corporate classes that I have for years at Tishman Speyer, Ubisoft, and Craigslist, and that I get to lead international yoga retreats to Xinalani, Mexico. Recently I was asked if I would teach yoga for a student’s wedding, for her and her guests. Of course I said yes. Students ask me if I will lead a teacher training. Yes. Probably. One day, if I am so blessed.
People often ask, how do you teach so much? My only answer is I teach from my heart. I think it is the "why" that is more important. From my heart is boundless energy and love. From my heart comes wanting to share what has so much changed and enriched and healed, my life. In my A.C.T. Alexander Technique class back in 2005, before I had left for NYC, the teacher asked us to write down a metaphor for ourselves. We had to think of something to describe us. I wrote “Sky without a boundary”. I’m not kidding. I had no idea yoga was going to come back into my life like it did, or that I was going to be a teacher. But my intuition, something deep down that day spoke and told the future. I am “sky without a boundary”. Truthfully we are all “sky without a boundary”. Unlimited, vast, and filled with potential.
So, why have I written this?
Well, I hope in some small way my writing inspires you.
It's the ten year anniversary of when I left my pretty comfortable-but-missing-something-life in SF to dive into the uncomfortable-I-don’t-know-anything-life in NYC. It’s the ten year anniversary of when I truly listened to my soul’s calling to follow my dreams. I had been wanting to move to NYC for years. I finally did, and what I learned, is that sometimes you have to follow your dreams, to find your dharma.
I feel extremely blessed that I had the courage to do so. I knew there was no other way to live a truth-based life. If I betrayed myself, by not listening to what was calling, I would not have lived, or be living now, my authentic life. So, as one my favorite zen sayings has inspired me, “Leap, and the net will appear”. Or, as my experience in NYC, was, as Kurt Vonnegut wrote, “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
Ten years later, I feel so blessed to be living my dream dharma life in San Francisco and beyond, that I didn’t know I had… this humble yogini life... but in a way I feel I also have been preparing for it all my life. I am truly listening every day, to the call of my soul.
My question for you is, are you?
And if so, do you have the courage to listen, and follow it?
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